Being You
Author and I were chatting today about how being told what we could and couldn't do with our appearance changed how we viewed the basics of being "girly". Things like makeup, hair, nails, and clothes. As a kid there was many times I was told by several individuals I looked horrible or, and I quote, "like a prostitute" because of something I was wearing that they didn't like. Come to think of it prostitute was thrown around a lot. For example, I was once told that only prostitutes wear red shirts and jeans. That I looked like one because I was wearing red lipstick, or that I looked "hard" because I put on black eyeliner. That hookers wore heels not respectable Christian women and definitely not country girls. That country girls don't do makeup or hair because it's pointless and stupid. Only jeans, t-shirts, and boots are allowed. Oh, and one of my favorites, "you aren't a true country girl if you like girly things." For the record, these same people never bothered to try to teach me any other way either. They just wanted to put down everyone and anything who wasn't fitting "the mold". Growing up in a place where anything outside "the mold", which in a lot of cases was from the 1920s and/or country western, was condemned makes for interesting times when you enjoy things like heels and makeup. My mom was great because she tried to help but she also has always admitted makeup isn't her forte. But at least she tried, which was more than the others. Looking back I can't help but feel bad for those people. Let me explain why.
As I have gotten older I've come to the conclusion that everyone is different. Doing your makeup, hair, or nails, liking shoes, and enjoying clothes are not bad things. They don't make you materialistic, or shallow as many people growing up liked to try to tell me. They just make you different. Mind you I still can barely curl my hair without burning the ever living crap out of my hands, but I try. Don't get me wrong here, there is such a thing as to much, but trying a brilliant purple eyeshadow or red lipstick that could set a fire is not going to suddenly make you a "slut". Yeah, been called that too for the ol' red lipstick and heels, along with several other choice words that I won't repeat. They're to rude. You want to take the time to curl your hair every morning? Go do it! I personally don't have that kind of time daily but I'm trying to at least once a week. Mostly trying and failing but hey, I'm trying. You want to rock a pair of sexy 6 inch heels to the mall just because they are adorable? Then you rock them! Getting your nails done makes you feel good about yourself? Then get them done. And if you can't afford to go to the salon, grab some dollar store nail polish and do them yourself.
Being "girly" is not a bad thing. Just because someone else doesn't want to be, doesn't mean you can't be. I found that often times the people who are putting you down are the ones with the insecurities of themselves. They want to tear you down so they feel better. I know, I know, so high school right? But the reality of it is in a lot of cases we never really leave high school. There is always going to be people that try to build themselves up by knocking others down. Juvenile? Totally, but it happens. The best thing is to rise above it by not letting it change how you view what you like and by not perpetuating it. They have the issues. Don't let their issues shape who you are or what you wear. Be appropriate (6 inch peep toed heels in 3 feet of snow? Probably better bring some extra boots), but have fun. If you aren't sure, ask. That's what real friends are for. Like I said, looking back I feel bad for all those who discouraged and condemned me because they were to afraid of their own skin they couldn't stand that I was learning to be comfortable in mine. They weren't true friends. Unfortunately, many of those same people still have those same problems today. And honestly, it makes me sad. I wish I could show them they don't have to be afraid. Do I still rock the heels and red lipstick when I go back to where I grew up? OH heck yes, but not because I'm trying to shove it in anyone's face. It's because it's what I feel comfortable in. It's my look. It doesn't change who I am, no matter what I'm wearing. It shouldn't change who you are either.
Labels like "girly girl", "country girl", "city girl" shouldn't be used as a weapon to say one person is less than another. In fact, most people are a blend of many things. It doesn't make you any less than anyone else. Just different. So don't let anyone make you feel bad for being different. You rock your look, and hold your head high. You are just being you.
"Today you are you. That is truer than true. There is no one alive is youer than you." Dr. Suess
As I have gotten older I've come to the conclusion that everyone is different. Doing your makeup, hair, or nails, liking shoes, and enjoying clothes are not bad things. They don't make you materialistic, or shallow as many people growing up liked to try to tell me. They just make you different. Mind you I still can barely curl my hair without burning the ever living crap out of my hands, but I try. Don't get me wrong here, there is such a thing as to much, but trying a brilliant purple eyeshadow or red lipstick that could set a fire is not going to suddenly make you a "slut". Yeah, been called that too for the ol' red lipstick and heels, along with several other choice words that I won't repeat. They're to rude. You want to take the time to curl your hair every morning? Go do it! I personally don't have that kind of time daily but I'm trying to at least once a week. Mostly trying and failing but hey, I'm trying. You want to rock a pair of sexy 6 inch heels to the mall just because they are adorable? Then you rock them! Getting your nails done makes you feel good about yourself? Then get them done. And if you can't afford to go to the salon, grab some dollar store nail polish and do them yourself.
Being "girly" is not a bad thing. Just because someone else doesn't want to be, doesn't mean you can't be. I found that often times the people who are putting you down are the ones with the insecurities of themselves. They want to tear you down so they feel better. I know, I know, so high school right? But the reality of it is in a lot of cases we never really leave high school. There is always going to be people that try to build themselves up by knocking others down. Juvenile? Totally, but it happens. The best thing is to rise above it by not letting it change how you view what you like and by not perpetuating it. They have the issues. Don't let their issues shape who you are or what you wear. Be appropriate (6 inch peep toed heels in 3 feet of snow? Probably better bring some extra boots), but have fun. If you aren't sure, ask. That's what real friends are for. Like I said, looking back I feel bad for all those who discouraged and condemned me because they were to afraid of their own skin they couldn't stand that I was learning to be comfortable in mine. They weren't true friends. Unfortunately, many of those same people still have those same problems today. And honestly, it makes me sad. I wish I could show them they don't have to be afraid. Do I still rock the heels and red lipstick when I go back to where I grew up? OH heck yes, but not because I'm trying to shove it in anyone's face. It's because it's what I feel comfortable in. It's my look. It doesn't change who I am, no matter what I'm wearing. It shouldn't change who you are either.
Labels like "girly girl", "country girl", "city girl" shouldn't be used as a weapon to say one person is less than another. In fact, most people are a blend of many things. It doesn't make you any less than anyone else. Just different. So don't let anyone make you feel bad for being different. You rock your look, and hold your head high. You are just being you.
"Today you are you. That is truer than true. There is no one alive is youer than you." Dr. Suess
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