Moms are Mean!!!

Sorry I haven't posted in a long, long while guys. I haven't forgotten, it's just that my computer has been glitchy. That won't be a problem anymore here shortly. Anyways, onto today's topic.

While I was in the grocery store this morning I had the most interesting few run-ins. Allow me to set the stage. Today was the first day that it was rather chilly in quite some time. Chilly enough to actually warrant sweaters, full jeans and actual shoes, not flip-flops. As Sam doesn't have many cardigans yet (she will be getting some for her birthday, but just not yet) I decided to put her in this utterly adorable little light jacket that looks quite like something that stepped out of the roaring twenties. Pearls, ruffles and all mind you. Clay was quite cozy in his little preppy sweater (not usually a huge fan, but this one is really handsome on him), and I was in a cozy flannel that I haven't gotten to wear all summer. Mind you I had quite forgotten about this particular one's tendency to come unbuttoned even though I never wear a flannel without a tank-top underneath. This will be important later. The kids had just finished eating while I put on their shoes before heading out the door to fetch groceries. 

On the way Josh and I had started getting into a mild disagreement over the phone. Nothing major but enough to offset the fabulous start to my day. By the time I got to the store my great mood was now more like mildly frustrated and rapidly declining. Trying to get the kids in the cart while finishing my conversation was getting to be even more frustrating with the wind making the kids cold rather quickly despite being bundled well enough. Finally we make it into the store. At this point I'm beginning to hit wanting to cry stage as I clearly hadn't gotten enough sleep, hadn't had my coffee, wasn't going to be getting my coffee, and hadn't eaten as I was to busy trying to get ready. Of course, things had to get decidedly worse from there. While still on the phone with Josh trying to explain in public appropriate terminology why I was upset, Sam begins to cry saying she hungry. Remember, she had just eaten. Now many people are looking at me like "Geeze lady, feed your freaking kid will you?" Uh hello, in the store...to get food...to feed my kids...just saying. I hit the produce section to grab some asparagus and broccoli because you know, good parents attempt to feed their kids veggies every great once in a while. So here I am attempting to calm my child, listen to my husband on the phone, get veggies and the dumb plastic baggies for the veggies refuse to actually open, making me feel even more foolish and frustrated. At this point this lady and her husband walk up next to me. I apologize to them and explain I'm having a hard time getting the bag to open to put the vegetables in. She gives me this nasty little glare and walks around me without saying a word and gets her vegetables. Just before she and her husband (who refused to even acknowledge my human status) she looks at me again with this nasty look of pure agitation that my kids is fussing. Seriously lady, I'm trying here. Now I not only am frustrated, but rapidly beginning to feel like the world's worst mom. This kind of behavior from other adults continues throughout the store. Even from other moms. 

While I'm attempting to get some frozen veggies, I notice a guy staring at my chest. While not entirely out of the ordinary, this guy is really staring. The moment he discovers I've caught him he at least had the decency to look sheepish about it. Just wanting to make sure the ladies are as tucked away as I had put them this morning I glanced down. And promptly discovered why he was staring a bit more than the average glance. My entire flannel had come undone AND HAD SOMEHOW PULLED MY TANK TOP DOWN SO HALF MY BEGLITTERED BRA WAS SHOWING!!! How you ask? I have literally no idea. But I do know I was utterly mortified. Franticly yanking my tank up, whipping my flannel closed, keep my purse from plunging off my shoulder onto the floor, and trying to do this all somewhat discreetly was a horrifying experience. Especially since I noticed the woman I believe was the man's wife glaring at me as if I had just committed murder. I wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out. Unfortunately there was still shopping to be finished before I could go home. 

I finally managed to get everything and get into line. Things shaped up a bit from there, but the whole ordeal was just demoralizing. The whole way home, I'm beating myself up. Things I would never say to anyone I was saying to myself. Things like "Could you fail any harder?" "Good grief Useless, please show the world how much of a loser mom you are." And so on and so forth. Mind you these were some of the nicer things I was saying to myself. 

Once we were home, the groceries unload and put away, and the kids down for bed, I sat down and started to really think about how hard I was on myself. I realized we moms are really, really mean. We can be so judgy, and rude, and harsh, and condemning of other moms, but even more so of ourselves. I wouldn't say a quarter of the things I say to myself to anyone in the world, let alone a mom who is clearly having bad day. Holy crap are we cruel to ourselves. And it's got to STOP! I try so hard not be mean or to judge other moms. In fact, I try to go out of my way to remind them that no matter what they are feeling, they are trying and that's the most important thing. They are not failing. But when it comes to me, man I am so hard on myself. While I am by no means perfect of not judging other moms, I do try really hard not to judge. Today I felt like nearly every other mom in there was so judgmental of me for not having it all together. And if I'm honest, it hurt. No matter how much we try not to let what other think of us affect us, it does. While I have let it go, it was hard feeling like I was such a failure not only in my own eyes, but in the eyes of so many around me.

So I decided to do something about it. I decided I'm going to do my best to not be so mean. I'm not going to keep judging myself so harshly. I'm going to go even more out of my way to encourage other moms, especially when it looks like they are having a rough go of it. And I'm going to stop telling myself lies about being a horrible mom. I'm going to remind myself of the good. What about you?