Peace Offering
I bring a peace offering of laughter as I vanished for a while my dear bloggers. I'm so sorry. I've been so tired lately, and Sam has been quite the handful. So between that and Gamer coming home a couple of times as a surprise, it's been busy. I'm finally settling into a routine again though so that helps. I spent this morning cleaning house and finally am able to sit down have my cup of coffee and blog. Onto the amusing stories of a simple mama badger.
The other day I was working on something or ruther my studio and I realized I didn't hear any noise coming from the living room. Being a mom, I know unless a child is asleep, silence is never a good thing. I wandered in knowing munchkin was safe in her playpen but wondering what she's doing. At first it all seemed normal, until I noticed the diaper is no longer on her, but sitting next to her....and covered in poo. Cocking my head, I suddenly discovered my child's hands, feet, and legs are covered in poop. The toys and other things in there were also, of course, covered. I paused for a brief moment thinking, "No, I've trained her better than that." Only to realize this is indeed what I'm staring at. Snatching her up and running to the bathroom I pitched her crying into the tub while yanking off her poop covered shirt. Hoping that she doesn't decide to rub her face before I can get it off her hands, I crank on the water and make sure the temp isn't going to burn her, but warm enough that she's not going to freeze her poopie butt. It was at that moment I looked down to find all of her bath toys...still in the bath and now becoming contaminated with poo. "Oh ****! Literally!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH" was the next thing out of my mouth. Now I generally try to never curse in front of my daughter but this one slipped before I could even think about it. By this time she has stopping crying and snapped up several of the toys in her poopie hands covering them. With pieces beginning to float off in several directions, I realized I was going to have to shake the poop off of her and the toys into the water, fast drain, yank out the toys, and refill the tub with clean water to soap her up. Moving as fast a humanly possible to remove the remaining poop off her hands feet and legs as the stuff on her booty has since floated away, and try to save the rest of the toys from becoming the next victims, I managed to get it all off. Only to realize that the tub is going to take a minute to drain and the small poop is still going to attempt to cling onto life by sticking to the bottom and sides....which means inserting my hand to brush the draining water down the drain. LOTS and LOTS of soap later, and some serious rinsing, we managed to pull her out of the tub to suddenly find that there are no clean towels except the small hand towel sitting on the counter. It had to do as it was that or run screaming up stairs with a soaking wet, now fussy because she's getting chilled, baby. Snatching up the tiny nearly useless towel it took a few attempts to get her halfway wrapped up. Fleeing upstairs like the hell hounds are after us to get her warm and cozy and her wubbie (aka pacifier) into her face, we managed to make up in one piece. Trying to gently lay her down so she doesn't smack her head on the foam letters that are covering her floor so she has some where to play rather than on the plywood floor, of course she decides to wiggle at the last moment and does just that. Conk. Thankfully they are pretty soft so she didn't hurt herself, but still, really child? I reached for the diapers but found that they were out and the rest of the package is across the room somewhere behind me with the rest of the random stuff for babies. Hopping up and grabbing diapers and some warm pants, and a shirt, I turned around to find my very naked baby standing up and going as fast as she can right for the small doorway which leads to the stairs....thankfully I move faster. I grabbed her and go figure a repeat of the attempt to laying her down happens yet again. Finally we were able to wrangle her into a diaper and some clothes. At this point I'm thinking "good grief, what else could happen?" Never think that. It's likely something else will happen. As it did. She's running straight for the stairs yet again. I somehow with superhuman strength snagged her at the last moment. Phew. Thankfully she was headed straight ahead and the stairs are to the left. I decided it was nap time. Even though it was only 3:00 and she had already had a half nap earlier, it was definitely nap time. Wrapped in a blanket, and snuggled in bed she fell asleep for a little while. Thankfully. It was that or I might pass out. After that I headed down and got everything cleaned up with bleach. All in all it ended well. Moral to the story, never, ever let your child be quiet for to long if you know they aren't sleeping.
So there's the anecdote for the day my friends. I look forward to our next blog. In the meantime, I'm going to drink my coffee, and watch a tv show while my darling daughter is actually asleep.
The other day I was working on something or ruther my studio and I realized I didn't hear any noise coming from the living room. Being a mom, I know unless a child is asleep, silence is never a good thing. I wandered in knowing munchkin was safe in her playpen but wondering what she's doing. At first it all seemed normal, until I noticed the diaper is no longer on her, but sitting next to her....and covered in poo. Cocking my head, I suddenly discovered my child's hands, feet, and legs are covered in poop. The toys and other things in there were also, of course, covered. I paused for a brief moment thinking, "No, I've trained her better than that." Only to realize this is indeed what I'm staring at. Snatching her up and running to the bathroom I pitched her crying into the tub while yanking off her poop covered shirt. Hoping that she doesn't decide to rub her face before I can get it off her hands, I crank on the water and make sure the temp isn't going to burn her, but warm enough that she's not going to freeze her poopie butt. It was at that moment I looked down to find all of her bath toys...still in the bath and now becoming contaminated with poo. "Oh ****! Literally!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH" was the next thing out of my mouth. Now I generally try to never curse in front of my daughter but this one slipped before I could even think about it. By this time she has stopping crying and snapped up several of the toys in her poopie hands covering them. With pieces beginning to float off in several directions, I realized I was going to have to shake the poop off of her and the toys into the water, fast drain, yank out the toys, and refill the tub with clean water to soap her up. Moving as fast a humanly possible to remove the remaining poop off her hands feet and legs as the stuff on her booty has since floated away, and try to save the rest of the toys from becoming the next victims, I managed to get it all off. Only to realize that the tub is going to take a minute to drain and the small poop is still going to attempt to cling onto life by sticking to the bottom and sides....which means inserting my hand to brush the draining water down the drain. LOTS and LOTS of soap later, and some serious rinsing, we managed to pull her out of the tub to suddenly find that there are no clean towels except the small hand towel sitting on the counter. It had to do as it was that or run screaming up stairs with a soaking wet, now fussy because she's getting chilled, baby. Snatching up the tiny nearly useless towel it took a few attempts to get her halfway wrapped up. Fleeing upstairs like the hell hounds are after us to get her warm and cozy and her wubbie (aka pacifier) into her face, we managed to make up in one piece. Trying to gently lay her down so she doesn't smack her head on the foam letters that are covering her floor so she has some where to play rather than on the plywood floor, of course she decides to wiggle at the last moment and does just that. Conk. Thankfully they are pretty soft so she didn't hurt herself, but still, really child? I reached for the diapers but found that they were out and the rest of the package is across the room somewhere behind me with the rest of the random stuff for babies. Hopping up and grabbing diapers and some warm pants, and a shirt, I turned around to find my very naked baby standing up and going as fast as she can right for the small doorway which leads to the stairs....thankfully I move faster. I grabbed her and go figure a repeat of the attempt to laying her down happens yet again. Finally we were able to wrangle her into a diaper and some clothes. At this point I'm thinking "good grief, what else could happen?" Never think that. It's likely something else will happen. As it did. She's running straight for the stairs yet again. I somehow with superhuman strength snagged her at the last moment. Phew. Thankfully she was headed straight ahead and the stairs are to the left. I decided it was nap time. Even though it was only 3:00 and she had already had a half nap earlier, it was definitely nap time. Wrapped in a blanket, and snuggled in bed she fell asleep for a little while. Thankfully. It was that or I might pass out. After that I headed down and got everything cleaned up with bleach. All in all it ended well. Moral to the story, never, ever let your child be quiet for to long if you know they aren't sleeping.
So there's the anecdote for the day my friends. I look forward to our next blog. In the meantime, I'm going to drink my coffee, and watch a tv show while my darling daughter is actually asleep.
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