When The Heart Weeps
I've got to be honest. This week has sucked. There is no other way to cut it. I've been sick most of the last week and a half. My son was sick for a couple days, and so was my daughter. I've had no energy and not much sleep while trying to get the house clean to have guests for my daughter's ballet recital this last Sunday. Then things had to go and get worse.
Thursday my husband called me while on the truck to tell me that his sister who is pregnant just got some bad news. The baby has Edwards syndrome. There are not many babies that make it to term and the ones who do only have a 5-10% chance of making it to even a year. It was devastating to hear. This little sweet baby whom we haven't even met yet but love so deeply has so little a chance to make it. While I don't talk about it much, I've lost one myself. The grief eases with time, but it never truly goes away. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but especially not my sister in law. We can't do anything, and there is nothing that can fix it, so for now, we wait. We pray, and we see what God has in store for us.
Friday rolled around and I found out that my parents weren't coming to Sam's ballet recital. Just one more thing to add to an already crappy week. My in laws came though and we had a good time getting our Christmas tree, and of course the recital. Things were a little less chipper than usual with the news about the baby but we still tried to make the best of it. But Monday morning came with more heart breaking news. My mother in law's beloved horse was not in good shape. A call from the vet and they had to make the hard call to put him down. Holding my mother in law while she tried so hard not to completely lose it hurt so much. It also hurt me to lose him too. I gave my first riding lesson on him, and he had been around since before my husband and I started dating. He was a beloved pet.
While to some these may seem trivial, to us they have been heart breaking. I've spent most of the last few days all over the emotional spectrum. Excited and happy for my daughter, weeping for my sister in law and our family, missing my lost little one, hurting for losing a pet, and raging. It's been hard to say the least. I sit here crying even as I write this post because life just hurts right now.
When our hearts are weeping because of the things that happen in life, there is only one major thing we need to remember. God has a plan. Even if we don't see it, even if it feels like our hearts have been ripped from our chest and filleted on the floor. Even if we feel like we can't go on, or we are trying to see the light in the utter blackness of despair. Even when we are screaming silently in pain while putting on a happy face for the world, or when we are feeling so lost that we think we will never find our way. God has a plan. He has peace, and love that pass our understanding. He will hold us through the times we can't stand. He will carry us when we can't walk. He will pick us up when we fall, and He will loves us through it all. He can work miracles, and sometimes it's not that He stops what is happening. It's that He gives us peace and strength to withstand it.
So even when we are broken on the floor in our sorrow, we can give it to Him and He will bear it with us. When our hearts weep, He will hold us.
Thursday my husband called me while on the truck to tell me that his sister who is pregnant just got some bad news. The baby has Edwards syndrome. There are not many babies that make it to term and the ones who do only have a 5-10% chance of making it to even a year. It was devastating to hear. This little sweet baby whom we haven't even met yet but love so deeply has so little a chance to make it. While I don't talk about it much, I've lost one myself. The grief eases with time, but it never truly goes away. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but especially not my sister in law. We can't do anything, and there is nothing that can fix it, so for now, we wait. We pray, and we see what God has in store for us.
Friday rolled around and I found out that my parents weren't coming to Sam's ballet recital. Just one more thing to add to an already crappy week. My in laws came though and we had a good time getting our Christmas tree, and of course the recital. Things were a little less chipper than usual with the news about the baby but we still tried to make the best of it. But Monday morning came with more heart breaking news. My mother in law's beloved horse was not in good shape. A call from the vet and they had to make the hard call to put him down. Holding my mother in law while she tried so hard not to completely lose it hurt so much. It also hurt me to lose him too. I gave my first riding lesson on him, and he had been around since before my husband and I started dating. He was a beloved pet.
While to some these may seem trivial, to us they have been heart breaking. I've spent most of the last few days all over the emotional spectrum. Excited and happy for my daughter, weeping for my sister in law and our family, missing my lost little one, hurting for losing a pet, and raging. It's been hard to say the least. I sit here crying even as I write this post because life just hurts right now.
When our hearts are weeping because of the things that happen in life, there is only one major thing we need to remember. God has a plan. Even if we don't see it, even if it feels like our hearts have been ripped from our chest and filleted on the floor. Even if we feel like we can't go on, or we are trying to see the light in the utter blackness of despair. Even when we are screaming silently in pain while putting on a happy face for the world, or when we are feeling so lost that we think we will never find our way. God has a plan. He has peace, and love that pass our understanding. He will hold us through the times we can't stand. He will carry us when we can't walk. He will pick us up when we fall, and He will loves us through it all. He can work miracles, and sometimes it's not that He stops what is happening. It's that He gives us peace and strength to withstand it.
So even when we are broken on the floor in our sorrow, we can give it to Him and He will bear it with us. When our hearts weep, He will hold us.
Comments
Post a Comment