Learning To Be Ok
You know from my last post that my life recently hasn't exactly been totally the easy road. You also know that I needed some time to get to a point of being ok. For the first time in my life I actually allowed myself to not be ok for a few days and to learn how to deal with those emotions, and how to take it easy on myself for not measuring up. Well I can honestly say that while getting to the point of being ok is still a work in progress, I can also say that I'm making leaps and bounds. So far what I've learned in this little bit is that if I actually stop and let myself deal with the emotions as they happen, I heal and process much faster than if I simply bottle them up and pretend I'm fine. Now will I be able to do that all the time? Oh heck no. I'm kind of stubborn and stuck in my ways. This is going to be one of those annoying lessons I have to learn a few time to truly get it. But hey, I'm making progress.
In the last few days, I've also learned that pushing myself to hard versus just letting myself take time to understand and process is a very delicate balance. I'm always going to want to be the person that I've allowed the world to think I am. I'm always going to want to try to hide everything and look unbreakable. I want to be the strong person that can take on the world alone. But the truth is that I'm not that kind of person. I have learned a little that I have to rely on others to help me get through all the chaotic emotions. Granted I'm sure some of them are the pregnancy, but a vast majority of them are more than that. They are real honest feelings. Something I'm finding more and more I'm really not very good at dealing with. Shutting down and shutting it all out? 100% on that test. Actually dealing with them? Well, can you get a negative score? If so, I've got it. But again, I'm learning.
The first part of learning to deal with emotions is actually fairly simple...shockingly. You let yourself feel the emotion. Be it happy, sad, mad, so on and so forth. It's the after that part that gets interesting. While you allow yourself to feel whatever emotion it is, you must also not let it rule your actions. So for example. You feel extreme rage at someone for something stupid they said and all you want to do is to go beyond the edge to rip out their heart. Now, ripping out hearts is not ok. So, you need to control that enough to not do something stupid. However, you can sit down, think through why what they said made you so rage monster, and then once you have calmed enough to properly explain it, you can tell them why you are so upset. Then you come to a resolution. And ta da, look at you. You dealt with rage.
Pity that doesn't work with every emotion isn't it? Yeah, that's what I said. So I've been trying to figure out how to deal with these other emotions. I'll let you know should I ever figure out how to. No promises. It's difficult to learn, but something that we don't have to do alone. We all have someone in our lives that can help us. Yes, even if you have to go pay a counselor. They really can help. It's kind of their job. If you are like me and you suck horribly at dealing with emotions, find someone you can trust to talk to. It really will help.
If there are a bunch of mistakes in this post as far as spelling it's likely because I can't see the keyboard as I'm typing. Though I don't think I did to horrible. I'm sitting here in bed in the dark next to my hubby who is trying to sleep while I finish this post up. So other than the light from the screen, which isn't much by the way, I can't see anything else. It's all good though. It just makes things so much more entertaining. Now that I've finished my rambling for the day. I think I had best go to bed as I find I'm beginning to get a rather nasty headache from trying to see to hard. Good luck my bloggers, and sleep in peace.
In the last few days, I've also learned that pushing myself to hard versus just letting myself take time to understand and process is a very delicate balance. I'm always going to want to be the person that I've allowed the world to think I am. I'm always going to want to try to hide everything and look unbreakable. I want to be the strong person that can take on the world alone. But the truth is that I'm not that kind of person. I have learned a little that I have to rely on others to help me get through all the chaotic emotions. Granted I'm sure some of them are the pregnancy, but a vast majority of them are more than that. They are real honest feelings. Something I'm finding more and more I'm really not very good at dealing with. Shutting down and shutting it all out? 100% on that test. Actually dealing with them? Well, can you get a negative score? If so, I've got it. But again, I'm learning.
The first part of learning to deal with emotions is actually fairly simple...shockingly. You let yourself feel the emotion. Be it happy, sad, mad, so on and so forth. It's the after that part that gets interesting. While you allow yourself to feel whatever emotion it is, you must also not let it rule your actions. So for example. You feel extreme rage at someone for something stupid they said and all you want to do is to go beyond the edge to rip out their heart. Now, ripping out hearts is not ok. So, you need to control that enough to not do something stupid. However, you can sit down, think through why what they said made you so rage monster, and then once you have calmed enough to properly explain it, you can tell them why you are so upset. Then you come to a resolution. And ta da, look at you. You dealt with rage.
Pity that doesn't work with every emotion isn't it? Yeah, that's what I said. So I've been trying to figure out how to deal with these other emotions. I'll let you know should I ever figure out how to. No promises. It's difficult to learn, but something that we don't have to do alone. We all have someone in our lives that can help us. Yes, even if you have to go pay a counselor. They really can help. It's kind of their job. If you are like me and you suck horribly at dealing with emotions, find someone you can trust to talk to. It really will help.
If there are a bunch of mistakes in this post as far as spelling it's likely because I can't see the keyboard as I'm typing. Though I don't think I did to horrible. I'm sitting here in bed in the dark next to my hubby who is trying to sleep while I finish this post up. So other than the light from the screen, which isn't much by the way, I can't see anything else. It's all good though. It just makes things so much more entertaining. Now that I've finished my rambling for the day. I think I had best go to bed as I find I'm beginning to get a rather nasty headache from trying to see to hard. Good luck my bloggers, and sleep in peace.
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