Whelp...That Was Fun...
I know I haven't posted in forever. Forgive me please. I had a post all set to finish up when I got some horrid news and have been scrabbling to right our lives ever since. It's been crazy and very, very, very stressful. But hey, on the upside things are looking up finally. Man was last year a doozy.
You know I've posted before how just because it's a new year that last year's problems don't always go away. Well that's what I'm dealing with right now. Just before Christmas I received some news that just about ruined our Christmas, and New Year's for that matter. I won't get into it, but suffice to say it was pretty devastating to Josh and I. We've spent the last several weeks trying to get things back in order and while we are almost there with most of it, emotionally we are still pretty damaged. It's amazing how much one thing can effect so much, and how someone's flippant words can cause so much damage. For those of you who don't know it takes a very long time for me to process emotion. Mostly because I suck at it. I've never been a terribly emotional person in that I often don't allow myself to have said emotions. This makes things like rage very difficult to process without some time to myself. That's something I haven't had a whole lot of lately. I love having people over and frankly it was probably good for me. It allows me time to cool off. However, just because I've cooled off doesn't mean I'm not still extremely angry. It just means I'm less homicidal lol (insert extremely high dose of sarcasm here. I'm never actually homicidal.) In reality it means I'm less likely to burn down relationship bridges. Don't get me wrong, if a bridge needs to be torched, I have no problem doing it. But if I can avoid doing that just because I'm angry, I do. And that's where I'm at right now. Trying not to burn down a bridge, but still allowing myself to process though the hurt and rage. If I'm honest, rage is the hardest of emotions for me to process merely because I so rarely get to that point. Annoyed, yes. Irritated, sure. Even angry, absolutely (though that's usually because I found coffee grounds strewn through the kitchen and nail polish painted on the counters and pillows or something along those lines). Those I can handle. But full on screaming like a banshee, ready to punch some idiot's face in, go ballistic, nearly lose my temper rage? Ha! Please, I pride myself on the fact that I haven't lost my temper since I was 11 years old. So yeah, I don't deal with that well. Normally someone does something stupid, it'll take a day or two to be fine. It's been almost a month. I'm still very angry. I have to say that's a new one for me. Though it might have to do with the fact that the stupidity kinda just keeps coming. So there's that. What I do know is that no matter what, eventually this will all blow over. The question is, what will be left standing when it does? Unfortunately that isn't entirely up to me. If it was, I'd learn from it and do my best to forget it ever happened. We will see.
So, how do you deal with things when s*** hits the fan? Normally, I'm pretty chill, but what about you? I know this has been kind of a rant post and I promise the next one will be far more entertaining. Perhaps I'll even post the one I had been working on previously just so you can enjoy the antics that have been happening. Man oh man do those kids keep me on my toes. Thank you for tolerating my ranting for a bit. I very much needed it. Now onto brighter things! See you next post!
You know I've posted before how just because it's a new year that last year's problems don't always go away. Well that's what I'm dealing with right now. Just before Christmas I received some news that just about ruined our Christmas, and New Year's for that matter. I won't get into it, but suffice to say it was pretty devastating to Josh and I. We've spent the last several weeks trying to get things back in order and while we are almost there with most of it, emotionally we are still pretty damaged. It's amazing how much one thing can effect so much, and how someone's flippant words can cause so much damage. For those of you who don't know it takes a very long time for me to process emotion. Mostly because I suck at it. I've never been a terribly emotional person in that I often don't allow myself to have said emotions. This makes things like rage very difficult to process without some time to myself. That's something I haven't had a whole lot of lately. I love having people over and frankly it was probably good for me. It allows me time to cool off. However, just because I've cooled off doesn't mean I'm not still extremely angry. It just means I'm less homicidal lol (insert extremely high dose of sarcasm here. I'm never actually homicidal.) In reality it means I'm less likely to burn down relationship bridges. Don't get me wrong, if a bridge needs to be torched, I have no problem doing it. But if I can avoid doing that just because I'm angry, I do. And that's where I'm at right now. Trying not to burn down a bridge, but still allowing myself to process though the hurt and rage. If I'm honest, rage is the hardest of emotions for me to process merely because I so rarely get to that point. Annoyed, yes. Irritated, sure. Even angry, absolutely (though that's usually because I found coffee grounds strewn through the kitchen and nail polish painted on the counters and pillows or something along those lines). Those I can handle. But full on screaming like a banshee, ready to punch some idiot's face in, go ballistic, nearly lose my temper rage? Ha! Please, I pride myself on the fact that I haven't lost my temper since I was 11 years old. So yeah, I don't deal with that well. Normally someone does something stupid, it'll take a day or two to be fine. It's been almost a month. I'm still very angry. I have to say that's a new one for me. Though it might have to do with the fact that the stupidity kinda just keeps coming. So there's that. What I do know is that no matter what, eventually this will all blow over. The question is, what will be left standing when it does? Unfortunately that isn't entirely up to me. If it was, I'd learn from it and do my best to forget it ever happened. We will see.
So, how do you deal with things when s*** hits the fan? Normally, I'm pretty chill, but what about you? I know this has been kind of a rant post and I promise the next one will be far more entertaining. Perhaps I'll even post the one I had been working on previously just so you can enjoy the antics that have been happening. Man oh man do those kids keep me on my toes. Thank you for tolerating my ranting for a bit. I very much needed it. Now onto brighter things! See you next post!
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